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A Sly Murder  

When giving a lecture about the significance of punctuation, the academic professor was interrupted and arrested by the police for murdering his wife, a receptionist of a kindergarten. The police found some photos he deleted from their e-album showing that they used to have a gay life. But, fed up with her wrinkled face, he murdered her instead of divorcing her to avoid fortune division. He cut up a kind of seashell with a sharpened knife, and hammered it into powder on a skateboard, and made at most one gram, which was enough to accelerate one’s pulse until he or she dies. This kind of poison can date back to 10,000 BC when people rubbed it on spears to kill beasts. The professor mixed the poison with onion, watermelon and yogurt for his wife. Howling and scratching her chest, she felt dizzy and died soon.

After tentative examination, the police assumed she died of heart disease. But systematic botanical analyses showed that the watermelon spit on the messy mat and the quilt was poisonous. Regardless of exhaustion and starvation, the acute and skilful policemen used radioactive equipment to make sure the category of the poison. Primitive and not ample as their alternative equipment was, they got perfect accuracy somehow.

People applauded the police and the woman’s family can look ahead with relief now.

参考中文译文

一宗狡猾的谋杀案

那位学院的教授在发表关于标点符号重要意义的演讲时被警察打断了,他因谋杀自己的妻子——一位幼儿园的接待员——而被逮捕。警 察找到了一些被他从电子相册里删除的照片,照片表明,他们曾经有过快乐的生活,但是,因为厌烦了妻子起皱的脸,他杀死她而不是和她离婚以避免离婚时的财产分割。他用一把磨利的小刀切碎一种贝壳,然后在滑板上锤打成粉末,最多1克就足以加速人的脉搏直到其死亡。这种毒药可以追溯到公元前10,000年,当时它就被涂抹在长予上杀死野兽。教授把这种毒药混合在洋葱、西瓜和酸奶里给他的妻子,后者叫喊、抓挠胸口、头晕目眩,很快就死了。

在初步检查之后,警 察设想她是死于心脏病。但是系统的植物学分析却表明,吐在凌乱的席子和被子上的西瓜有毒。敏锐而又技术娴熟的警 察不顾疲劳和饥饿,用放射性的设备确定了毒素的种类。尽管可供选择的设备原始,且数量不足,他们还是设法取得了完美的准确度。

人们都为警 察欢呼鼓掌,而那位女人的家人现在也可以带着欣慰为将来打算了。